Adopting a pace that patiently crawls instead of bounding forward is not really my style. I prefer the multitasking, the squeezing more than can comfortably fit in to a 24-hour day, and I have certainly been known to sacrifice sleep in an effort to check more off my to-do list.
My life often looks more like a race to run, than a journey to observe, immerse myself in and learn from.
There is something rather unsatisfying about adopting a pace that speeds forward without noticing the surroundings, or the wake behind me. There’s also something unsatisfying about letting connection fall primarily to texts, e-mails or Facebook updates.
I recently feel unnerved by people having a window into our life solely via this blog, or FB, and I feel equally disheartened about knowing details of a friend’s life merely because I scrolled through the feed on my Smartphone out of boredom.
I don’t mean to blast the Internet by any means – so much can be done with its power, and it often IS an effective means of communication.
But I find myself longing for handwritten notes, for monumental life announcements to be made on the phone or, better yet, over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.
I feel a bit protective of our family – perhaps you should only know we launched Aidan’s first rocket after making BYO pizzas and cookies from scratch yesterday if we are, indeed friends. (And frankly, I don’t expect the masses would even care.)
I want simplicity. I want genuine connection. I want to make myself slow down and live IN THIS MOMENT – not always looking to the next thing, or frantically trying to get too much done, but really enjoying the act of spreading homemade pizza sauce on homemade pizza dough after a competitive game of Blokus with my delightful husband.
All this to say – I’m not swearing off chronicling life on this blog, or posting on FB, but it will probably be much less frequent.
We only get this life, and in this life all we can be sure of is this moment.
I want to put my love and energy into this moment, and the people I am spending it with. I want to slowly revel in the magnificent world around me and feel true gratitude. I want to live what I practice in yoga – breathing deeply with intent. I want to spend quality time with you, if we have a relationship in real life.
And so, I will.
Happy 2012.
We only get this life. Absolutely true. This is sort of why I have pulled back on some of the really personal stuff on my blog too…I’ll still share it, but not as often or as in depth as before. It just feels so…private, sometimes. I can completely appreciate your decision!